The not knowing.
At the age of two I started to notice Roxann was not like her sister at that age. She was harder work, she didn’t sleep unless she had contact with me. She wasn’t doing the usual things like trying to get herself dressed, showing interest in the potty and she didn’t walk much. Now I know that no two children are the same, but children should be doing or showing signs of wanting to do at certain times.
I thought maybe it was because Roxann was born at 30weeks that maybe her development was just a little on the slow side. No big deal I still encouraged her the same way I had done with Bernadette.
No matter what I did she couldn’t get the hang of feeding herself or putting clothes on…I now know this to be called motorskills. Roxann’s are slow.
Roxann would never sit still was always hanging upside down or running around. There was no off switch hahaha. Bedtime was horrendous she would not settle at all, so it was many night spent sat up with her until she would goto sleep and that would only be for an hour or so then she would be back awake.
In the summer I remember being in the park and taking Roxann’s shoes off her so she could toddle about on the grass, well lord above she shrieked and froze. I had to go pick her up. She still hates the feel of grass on her now. If it touches her she can not stand it.
I also remember being on a camping holiday it was the first time I had used a shower on her…..she screamed and clung so hard onto my neck. No matter how hard I tried to do ooo and arrr and make it fun also splashing my own face with the shower, she was having none of it. She was the same when we went swimming or was in the bath if the water went over her face she hated it.
Biting oh lord did she do so much biting no matter how many times I told her no she still carried on. Roxann also has a thing for eating anything foam so we have to make sure nothing we buy her has foam or she will eat it. She upset her sister by eating the red nose she had bought for Red Nose Day.
As Roxann started to walk I noticed she was walking on her tiptoes I just thought it was cute.
I rang my sister one day as I thought that maybe Roxann might have ADHD. We talked and she said that some of the things Roxann was doing an ADHD child doesn’t do.
I made an appointment at the doctors, cause by this time I was worn out due to Roxann need 24/7 care. I burst into tears. Not only was she having all the behaviour problems but she was also struggling to goto the toilet.
The gp referred us to a child specialist for her Bowles and behaviour.
When we went for our appointment with the specialist he told us there was nothing he could do for the behaviour as the area we lived would not take children under the age of 5.
So we had Afew meeting with the Specialist and he said he had talked to one of his friends in child development, but unfortunately all he could do was put her on a list for when she turns 5.
I was heartbroken and lost. Everything was falling apart. I felt I had no strength left in me. By this time my relationship was falling apart.
My relationship with the girls father did come to an end.
That’s when I decided to move to Yorkshire to be closer to my sister for support.
Read more in my next blog